It's a new day.... a new dawn...

But, I'm not feeling so good. This last month I've worked so hard in trying to lose weight. I've exercised, eaten right, and the scale has not changed. Today, I weighed 196.8 pounds. I will never, ever see that again. Luckily for me, I'm 5'10.5 so, it only looks like I'm 170 and not closer to 200. It's disgusting. I'm disgusting. I have no will power. But, I will from now on.



 My name is Zai(Zah -ee). You can call me Z, or ZaZa, or simply Zai, haha. I am a 23 year old college student, who has a love for music, the arts, and science. Strange combination, but those are my loves. I've always been chubby. I had sever asthma as a child and as given steroids for a long period of time, which resulted in a 40 pound weight gain from the age 9-11. WAY more than what I should have gained for my height. Then I had a growth spurt and it began to even out.


I feel as if I am decaying. I don't feel human or deserving of the talents that I have. I am going to change things and I am not going to let my weakness, this fat body, destroy me. I will prove to everyone, my parents, taunting kids in my childhood, EVERYONE, that I can be skinnier and more beautiful than *all* of them. And I am starting today.


 APRIL 29TH 2011:
I'm starting with a 24-hour fast, just to quickly clean my system out. I was forced to drink a small bit of smoothie this morning to prove that I was eating, but it sort of goes along with my fast. 

I am able to drink water, diet sodas(in case I need some type of 'food'), & teas. I ride my bike a LOT so if I feel faint, I will allow my self ONE small piece of fruit.


I deserve to be skinny. I deserve to see bone. God damnit  I WILL see it. Come along with me through my journey. I'll prove that it is possible to be almost 200pounds(a goddamn fucking disgusting cow) to my glorious goal weight of of 120. I know, I know, that GL is a little heavy, but I am very tall.

My next goal weight is 190.

Join me! We all need friends!

<3 Zai